This blog is to the people that have judged me for the way I've handled the news about getting diagnosed with cancer at the same time as my 7 year old son.
I want you to know that NO, I'm not in denial. I'm fully aware that I have cancer. That my child has cancer. That something is growing inside of me that if not treated will take my life. That my son's blood is trying to kill him. That we both have the biggest battles of our lives. He is halfway through his battle and I'm just beginning to start mine. I understand that I have many emotional and physical hurdles ahead of me for both my son and I. I have lived, breathed, been consumed by cancer for almost two years already. I know what happens when you have cancer and how tremendously scary it is and forever emotionally changes you.
However, I choose to LIVE. Life for today. Some people feel from the onset of diagnoses that cancer is a death sentence and that maybe, just maybe if you are lucky enough, you can escape it. Some people live like it is a death sentence. Sad. Depressed. Angry. NOT ME! Cancer has freed me. Cancer has made me live again. I was so consumed by my son's cancer and making sure that he had all the emotional support he needed to face his cancer like that champ he is, I forgot about me. I forgot to live just for me. I forgot to smile just for me. I forgot to laugh just for me.
These last few days have been amazing. As I get closer to starting my treatment, I've realized I haven't been happier. I've lived again. I've seen friends that I haven't seen in months. I've laughed until I've cried. I've realized that I am vibrant, beautiful 32 year old woman that has so much to offer this world and that if you look around you, there are reasons to smile.
I'm sure you have heard the expression "Life isn't about wait for the storm to pass, it's about dancing in the rain", and that's exactly what I'm doing...dancing in the rain and it's the most exhilarating feeling.
You can only live today, there is no promise of tomorrow and you can't go back in time. For me, today, cancer has given me freedom.
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